My fellow Americans: thank you, firstly, for honoring me with such a position. Secondly: please feel free to help yourselves to the rootbeer floats we have provided at the Rootbeer Float Stations across the lawn. Guys. This is awesome. We did it! Let's take a moment to high five.
Wow. Okay. I know you're supposed to give a list of things you want to accomplish in your term, so here goes:
1. We are going to feed everyone. Seriously, if you can't afford food, that's... that's silly. We're going to get everyone enough food. But not too much food. The obesity rate is pretty high. Let's not continue down that path. Cool.
2. Everyone can get married. Yayz.
3. We are going to make sure Taco Bell and McDonald's serves legitimate meat.
4. If you get above a 3.5 GPA, we're going to pay for your college.
5. The meaner you are, the more taxes you have to pay.
6. You will get gummy worms if you walk, bike, skate, or rollerblade to school or work.
If you have any suggestions, feel free to put it in the suggestion box or email me. This is going to be good, guys. I can feel it. Enjoy the rootbeer floats and thank you!
Bhaha I love this post!!! I can haz creativity too? Oh, and I want you to become president because I 100% support all of your ideas that you listed.
ReplyDeleteHahahaha, I love this Hayley! If you would accomplish all these things, I would totally want you to be President. :) Even though you took a comical view, I do like how you included ideas such as letting everyone get married, helping pay for super-expensive things like college, and of course, the gummy worm idea. I would bike if just for that!
ReplyDeleteI really like your inaugural address, Hayley! (:
ReplyDeleteIt is really casual and relaxed, and not to mention funny! I love the tone of it, and I can totally hear your voice!
Plus, I'd vote for you, I love root beer floats! (: